God's Spy by Juan Gomez-Jurado

Author:Juan Gomez-Jurado [Gomez-Jurado, Juan]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Tags: Thriller & Suspense, Mystery
Publisher: Penguin Publishing Group
Published: 0101-01-01T00:00:00+00:00

THE SAINT MATTHEW INSTITUTE

Sachem Pike, Maryland May 1998

Transcription of Interview #14 Between

Patient No. 3643 and Doctor Anthony Fowler

Dr. Fowler: Good afternoon, Father Karosky. May I enter?

No. 3643: Come in, Father Fowler.

Dr. Fowler: Did you enjoy the book I loaned you?

No. 3643: Yes, of course. The Confessions of Saint Augustine. I’ve already finished it. A very interesting book. It’s unbelievable just how far innate optimism can take you.

Dr. Fowler: I don’t understand.

No. 3643: But you are the only person in this whole place who can understand me. The only person who doesn’t call me by my name, in an attempt to achieve a vulgar, unnecessary familiarity which denigrates the dignity of both parties.

Dr. Fowler: You are speaking of Father Conroy.

No. 3643: Yes, that man. The one who again and again maintains that I am a normal patient in need of being cured. I am a priest just as he is, and that dignity is what he constantly forgets when he insists I call him “Doctor.”

Dr. Fowler: I believe that point was already clarified for you last week, Father Karosky. It’s for good reason that your relations with Conroy are that of doctor and patient, and nothing else. You need help in overcoming a number of pyschological problems that stem from the suffering you endured in the past.

No. 3643: I suffered? I suffered at whose hands? Perhaps you too want to put my love for my saintly mother to the test? I beg you not to follow the same route that Father Conroy took. He has even stated that I will have to listen to some recordings that will remove all doubt.

Dr. Fowler: Some recordings.

No. 3643: That’s what he said.

Dr. Fowler: I don’t think you ought to hear those tapes, Father Karosky. It wouldn’t be healthy for you. I will speak to Father Conroy about it.

No. 3643: As you see fit. But I am not at all afraid.

Dr. Fowler: Please listen, Father. I want to make maximum use of this session, and there is something you said a little earlier that very much interests me. About Saint Augustine’s optimism in The Confessions. What were you referring to?

No. 3643: “And even if I appear laughable in your sight, you will come back to me full of mercy.”

Dr. Fowler: I don’t understand what strikes you as so optimistic in that passage. Is it because you don’t have confidence in the goodness and infinite mercy of God?

No. 3643: The merciful God is an invention of the twentieth century, Father Fowler.

Dr. Fowler: Saint Augustine lived in the fourth century.

No. 3643: Saint Augustine was horrified by his own sinful past, and set out to write a string of optimistic lies.

Dr. Fowler: Father, but that string is the basis of our faith. That God pardons us.

No. 3643: Not always. They go to confession like someone who is going to wash his car. . . . Pah! They make me sick.

Dr. Fowler: That is what you feel when you administer confession? You feel nauseated?

No. 3643: I feel repugnance. Many

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